So i jammed my feet into my sandals and headed off to the beach (which happens to be opposite to my house), along with this new(well, ancient actually....it was my mom's when she was doing literature in college) book i stumbled upon under the fridge[how it got there i will never know...one of those eternal mysteries of life i dare say].
I remembered to take some music along and was all set to enjoy some well earned solitude. I found a place far from the roadside romeos and chattering senior citizens and little hyperactive kids running around and lovebirds treating the place as their very own love nest. I indulged in some people watching for awhile and returned to my book, blissfully unaware that my peace was to be shattered too soon for my liking. Out of nowhere, i heard what sounded like a bunch of budgies screeching in a perfect falsetto "hiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!! what are you doing here????" noooo...it couldnt be..those falsetto wannabe socialite voices sounded too familiar for my liking at taht moment...i slowly looked up and my worst suspicions were confirmed...it was atttack of the bimbettes!!!!
I considered finishing my mouthful of peanuts and then answering but the thought of them looking at me with their perfect mascara and kohl lined eyes while i ate was slightly intimidating so i sighed, put my book down and said "Waiting for the martians to bring back my lost duck...what does it look im doing you idiots?"
Well actually that was what i wanted to say but i ended up being nice as usual and mumbling out a "nothin much...just...u knw...hanging".
At which the leader of the troupe (the one with the biggest boobs) asked me "whooo are you waiting for u naughty girl??? loooveer boooy? huh?"
I like them for the faith they are showin in my ability to hold down secret loverboys but really this was gettin tedious. After quizzing me on my nonexistent lovelife and discussing all my exes and their various merits and demerits (somehow the demerits always seemed to weigh up...), they finally came to the conclusion that i was indeed waiting for 'nobody'.
I then remembered my manners and offered them some of the peanuts to which i got back shrieks of "noooo! im watchin my weight!! ive become so fat do you think this skirt makes my bum look big?" "you are so lucky u dont care about ure weight! u can eat all you want!Dont u worry about not finding a guy?" (a not so subtle hint that i ought to be living on rabbit food like them so i can snare some hot guy who cant hold a conversation for more than 33 seconds) and such like refusals. I knew what was expected of me...i tried my best to resist but conditioning won out in the end..."no u dont look fat...uve lost so much weight...and yea ure right i should watch my weight..."
Crisis solved. They then proceeded to make sense of my book (The moon and six pence by somerset maughm). It was rather amusing to watch extremely pretty but dumb girls in ridiculously uncomfortable clothes and way too much war paint for an evening at the beach try to figure out if there were any dirty parts to the book i was reading. After awhile they gave up and then started to tell me how i should get a life and how they would be happy to introduce me to some 'very nice boys' so i wont have to spend my evenings all alone at the beach (poor me). I was rapidly reaching the end of my rope. I prayed to whoever up there was listening that i would be allowed to get back to my non-life soon before i say something i would later regret. So when they finally ran out of things to say about how the guys were keeping them waiting and how they were going to get annoyed soon, they looked like they were going to move...yes...finally...
at which point one bright pink lollipop screeched "lets wait and give the poor thing company while we wait for the guys!!!!!!"
And another day was spent with chicks(bird brains) taking bird bites.....
