Being a psychology student is not easy...most people have this notion that its all about learning how to deal with crazy nuts and you turn crazy eventually (its not) and it has to be th easiest thing ever (again, its not). but the truth being its difficult and theres actually loads to study...and the record work just kills you!
But as i was studying for my end of sems (yes, i actually do crack open the book once in awhile...esp when its the day of the exam) and feverishly trying to jam in the various theories of emotion, i came across this section on how to make a scared looking face...coz u see some idiot said we feel emotion based on our bodily responses ( which include facial reactions).
So i present here for u the three step process to lookin terrified....
Step one : Raise your eyebrows a high as they go and pull them together
Step two : now raise your upper eyelids and make your eyes big and bulging...thats right...good!
Step three : stretch your lips horizontally, back toward your ears...there you go!
You now look petrified!
p.s. DO try this at home and not on the streets...and locking urself in the bathroom would probably be a good idea! Cheers!
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Who is the toilet monster
Well ive had a lot of queries about the great and mysterious toilet monster so i shall give all you ignorant people a brief history.
The toilet monster is a monster. A legendary monster. One which hides in the pot and reaches out to grab your gluteal muscle (the butt for the uniniated) when you least expect it...
The legend of the toilet monster has been passed down form generation to generation, especially by nasty cousins who scare the living daylights out of their younger, four year old, extremely impressionable cousins who already have overactive imaginations and who then become so petrified of the loo that they refuse to go anywhere near it and are consequently whacked by their mothers.
Not that it happened to me.
Legends abound about the origin of the toilet monster...experts dont agree on any one version of his origin but we do have conclusive evidence that he can split himself up into a million, gazzillion entities and enter each and every one of our toilets...the one place where we thought we would have some peace....
MY favorite legend is the one which puts the toilet monster as a victim..an innocent victim of fate...who really cudnt help becoming the monster...
It all started on this dark rainy night decades ago when the pot was first invented. It was one of those nights which was filled with headless horsemen, evil pumpkins with glowing eyes, howling dogs and the like. and of course howling wind, window panes banging, trees swaying and a looot of unaccountable shadows. And a huge spooky house which lies in a filled in swamp with creaky doors, loong staircases with rotting wooden floors and cobwebby ceilings. The kind of house where anything can happen. And of course a full moon. and michael jackson lookalikes running around. all nice and happy.
And in that scary house there lived this lonely little boy who had no friends. His name was...um...Toolitomonsotoer...yea...thats it..Toolitomonsotoer. Go figure. His parents were...um...uh...believers of going slightly off the beaten track.
but yea....he was stila very lonely little boy who had no friends to play with...none of the mothers for miles around wud send their kids to play with that weird boy with the weird name in that huge, spooky weird house. Not that it stopped the kids...they wud come regularly to throw stones at the house..at the eerie windows which always had cobwebs sticking to it. And the servants were all spooky too..they were all either escaped convicts or on a rehab program from the local asylum. The butler was a useless shit too...he didnt have any style or panache like Lurch..or Jeeves even...he was a useless night school dropout who was whiling away his time at the spooky house.
And so Toolitomonsotoer was a very unhappy boy. His parents were never around for him...they spent all their time in the top secret lab under the house, where they cut up people and tried to attach wings to lizards and made copious amounts of chemical X. And they also invented the pot so they were trying to get it accepted by the public and assure them that the shit wudnt suddenly come shooting out and wud actually go away down the drain. they also headed a secret organisation which wud later go on to plunder and terrorise the world...it was called The Plumbers Association and they were a worldwide order who took training on how to squeeze people for the maximum money possible. And so they never had any time for poor little Toolitomonsotoer.
So poor Toolitomonsotoer spent most of his time in his favorite room in the house...the bathroom. Back then they used to name all the rooms...stuff like green room and blue room and john galt room...the bathroom was named after their great great grand uncle, Loo Looney...Loo for short (the name kinda stuck).
Toolitomonsotoer used to pretend tht there was an imaginary friend hiding in the pot who would talk to him...who actually liked him and would share oatmeal cookies with him...this thought made Toolitomonsotoer so happy that he spent more and more of his time in the Loo.
So much so that he began to believe that his imaginary friend actually existed...and that he would one day come out of the bathroom and scare away the kids who were always picking on him..and his imaginary friend said...of course i will..ill munch on them for breakfast and make sure they never bother you again.
And Toolitomonsotoer was so happy to hear that. He then wished that every lonely kid in the world had a friend like his...especially the weird ones.....the world aint kind to weird kids.
Those who dont fit in coz they have weird names, hairstyles, clothes not with it, study too much, dnt do drugs, dnt smoke or have wierd and embarassing parents....the shy ones, the stutterers and stammerers of the world...kids who think differently...those who are afraid to stand up for themselves...these are the kids who are always picked on..and they are the lonely ones....
But there was a slight problem with this plan...the fact that this friend of his existed only in his imagination. so wat Toolitomonsotoer did..he decided to wait till he grew up...grown ups always seemed to know wat to do.
So he waited and waited till he grew up. But he was still a lonely adult.
One day, he sneaked down to the top secret lab downstairs when his parents were too stoned to notice what was going on. And there he saw the new prototype of the pot which was to be replicated and go to all the houses in the world. then a really tragic thing happened...he did something involving a beetles head, a lizards wing, the liver of the butler(good riddance) and loads of chemical X....and boom...Toolitomonsotoer became his imaginary friend...he was able to get into toilets the world over and teach those nasty kids a lesson.
He then changed his name to the toilet monster...numerology you see.
The toilet monster will be around as long as there are sad and lonely kids, desperate for a friend....coz u see thats the magic which keeps the toilet monster alive.
The toilet monster is visible only to kids..when they grow up, they stop believing in him...he goes away then. But wherever there is a sad or lonely kid who needs a friend or a nasty kid who neeeds a lesson, you can be sure the toilet monster will be there.
The toilet monster and i became good friends. And we still are good friends. He never disappeared for me....i was a lonely kid while growing up.
The reason he is still with me is coz i still believe...and you never forget your friends...and maybe inside, im still the same old lonely kid i was....I still need my friend the toilet monster to make those nasty kids who pick on me go away.
Well thats the story....hope you kids liked it!!!!
DISCLAIMER : ALL EVENTS, PEOPLE, MONSTERS AND PLACES ARE ENTIRELY A WORK OF THE AUTHOR'S OVERACTIVE IMAGINATION. ANY RESMBELENCE TO PEOPLE,MONSTERS,NAMES,ETC AND ALL THAT JAZZ IS PURELY CO-INCIDENTAL. AND NO ANJALI IM NOT GOING CRAZY AND I DONT HAVE AN IMAGINARY FRIEND!!!! IT IS A WORK OF FICTION...FICTION!!!!!!
The toilet monster is a monster. A legendary monster. One which hides in the pot and reaches out to grab your gluteal muscle (the butt for the uniniated) when you least expect it...
The legend of the toilet monster has been passed down form generation to generation, especially by nasty cousins who scare the living daylights out of their younger, four year old, extremely impressionable cousins who already have overactive imaginations and who then become so petrified of the loo that they refuse to go anywhere near it and are consequently whacked by their mothers.
Not that it happened to me.
Legends abound about the origin of the toilet monster...experts dont agree on any one version of his origin but we do have conclusive evidence that he can split himself up into a million, gazzillion entities and enter each and every one of our toilets...the one place where we thought we would have some peace....
MY favorite legend is the one which puts the toilet monster as a victim..an innocent victim of fate...who really cudnt help becoming the monster...
It all started on this dark rainy night decades ago when the pot was first invented. It was one of those nights which was filled with headless horsemen, evil pumpkins with glowing eyes, howling dogs and the like. and of course howling wind, window panes banging, trees swaying and a looot of unaccountable shadows. And a huge spooky house which lies in a filled in swamp with creaky doors, loong staircases with rotting wooden floors and cobwebby ceilings. The kind of house where anything can happen. And of course a full moon. and michael jackson lookalikes running around. all nice and happy.
And in that scary house there lived this lonely little boy who had no friends. His name was...um...Toolitomonsotoer...yea...thats it..Toolitomonsotoer. Go figure. His parents were...um...uh...believers of going slightly off the beaten track.
but yea....he was stila very lonely little boy who had no friends to play with...none of the mothers for miles around wud send their kids to play with that weird boy with the weird name in that huge, spooky weird house. Not that it stopped the kids...they wud come regularly to throw stones at the house..at the eerie windows which always had cobwebs sticking to it. And the servants were all spooky too..they were all either escaped convicts or on a rehab program from the local asylum. The butler was a useless shit too...he didnt have any style or panache like Lurch..or Jeeves even...he was a useless night school dropout who was whiling away his time at the spooky house.
And so Toolitomonsotoer was a very unhappy boy. His parents were never around for him...they spent all their time in the top secret lab under the house, where they cut up people and tried to attach wings to lizards and made copious amounts of chemical X. And they also invented the pot so they were trying to get it accepted by the public and assure them that the shit wudnt suddenly come shooting out and wud actually go away down the drain. they also headed a secret organisation which wud later go on to plunder and terrorise the world...it was called The Plumbers Association and they were a worldwide order who took training on how to squeeze people for the maximum money possible. And so they never had any time for poor little Toolitomonsotoer.
So poor Toolitomonsotoer spent most of his time in his favorite room in the house...the bathroom. Back then they used to name all the rooms...stuff like green room and blue room and john galt room...the bathroom was named after their great great grand uncle, Loo Looney...Loo for short (the name kinda stuck).
Toolitomonsotoer used to pretend tht there was an imaginary friend hiding in the pot who would talk to him...who actually liked him and would share oatmeal cookies with him...this thought made Toolitomonsotoer so happy that he spent more and more of his time in the Loo.
So much so that he began to believe that his imaginary friend actually existed...and that he would one day come out of the bathroom and scare away the kids who were always picking on him..and his imaginary friend said...of course i will..ill munch on them for breakfast and make sure they never bother you again.
And Toolitomonsotoer was so happy to hear that. He then wished that every lonely kid in the world had a friend like his...especially the weird ones.....the world aint kind to weird kids.
Those who dont fit in coz they have weird names, hairstyles, clothes not with it, study too much, dnt do drugs, dnt smoke or have wierd and embarassing parents....the shy ones, the stutterers and stammerers of the world...kids who think differently...those who are afraid to stand up for themselves...these are the kids who are always picked on..and they are the lonely ones....
But there was a slight problem with this plan...the fact that this friend of his existed only in his imagination. so wat Toolitomonsotoer did..he decided to wait till he grew up...grown ups always seemed to know wat to do.
So he waited and waited till he grew up. But he was still a lonely adult.
One day, he sneaked down to the top secret lab downstairs when his parents were too stoned to notice what was going on. And there he saw the new prototype of the pot which was to be replicated and go to all the houses in the world. then a really tragic thing happened...he did something involving a beetles head, a lizards wing, the liver of the butler(good riddance) and loads of chemical X....and boom...Toolitomonsotoer became his imaginary friend...he was able to get into toilets the world over and teach those nasty kids a lesson.
He then changed his name to the toilet monster...numerology you see.
The toilet monster will be around as long as there are sad and lonely kids, desperate for a friend....coz u see thats the magic which keeps the toilet monster alive.
The toilet monster is visible only to kids..when they grow up, they stop believing in him...he goes away then. But wherever there is a sad or lonely kid who needs a friend or a nasty kid who neeeds a lesson, you can be sure the toilet monster will be there.
The toilet monster and i became good friends. And we still are good friends. He never disappeared for me....i was a lonely kid while growing up.
The reason he is still with me is coz i still believe...and you never forget your friends...and maybe inside, im still the same old lonely kid i was....I still need my friend the toilet monster to make those nasty kids who pick on me go away.
Well thats the story....hope you kids liked it!!!!
DISCLAIMER : ALL EVENTS, PEOPLE, MONSTERS AND PLACES ARE ENTIRELY A WORK OF THE AUTHOR'S OVERACTIVE IMAGINATION. ANY RESMBELENCE TO PEOPLE,MONSTERS,NAMES,ETC AND ALL THAT JAZZ IS PURELY CO-INCIDENTAL. AND NO ANJALI IM NOT GOING CRAZY AND I DONT HAVE AN IMAGINARY FRIEND!!!! IT IS A WORK OF FICTION...FICTION!!!!!!
Letting go...
Letting go is not an easy thing to do....too many memories, too many of those damned happy thoughts of what might be if we held on a bit longer....
Sometimes its people who hold on to you, makin it impossible for you to let go...most of the times its ur own demons in your head.The past is a happy road we cross every now and then....the sad, uncomfy parts are embroidered over and the good parts seem even better. But nostalgia is not something u want to be your constant companion like ure dog or something...you can drown in it and choke slowly on those stupid happy thoughts. You lose track of who you are and what u really want from life...all you can think of is one god damned thing and it slowly consumes you from the inside. And you need help when that happens! Its like this fungus attack...and u arent aware of it and ull die if pple dont get to you in time...
Luckily for me ive had some very supportive pple helping me get the fungus off. But it doesnt work if you want the fungus to stay...the minute you realise that its no good waiting and hoping it washes off pretty easily. But that realisation takes a shit lot of time and oodles of patience from those around you and a lot of tissue packets are gone through.
But i think ive reached there....finally....hopefully....and its time to say goodbye and pack everything up and move on....to what, i dont know. But i do know that its hopeless to wait.
Like someone said...it was good while it lasted...smile that it happened and all that jazz....ive got a few wonderful friends out of this nasty deal. So alls cool and im ready to roll.
Its a new day and a new chicken on the road and a new sun and im a new person too.....bury the past and all that crap.
If u dont get what im talkin abt, never mind...neither do i but i feel strangely good about myself....
Sometimes its people who hold on to you, makin it impossible for you to let go...most of the times its ur own demons in your head.The past is a happy road we cross every now and then....the sad, uncomfy parts are embroidered over and the good parts seem even better. But nostalgia is not something u want to be your constant companion like ure dog or something...you can drown in it and choke slowly on those stupid happy thoughts. You lose track of who you are and what u really want from life...all you can think of is one god damned thing and it slowly consumes you from the inside. And you need help when that happens! Its like this fungus attack...and u arent aware of it and ull die if pple dont get to you in time...
Luckily for me ive had some very supportive pple helping me get the fungus off. But it doesnt work if you want the fungus to stay...the minute you realise that its no good waiting and hoping it washes off pretty easily. But that realisation takes a shit lot of time and oodles of patience from those around you and a lot of tissue packets are gone through.
But i think ive reached there....finally....hopefully....and its time to say goodbye and pack everything up and move on....to what, i dont know. But i do know that its hopeless to wait.
Like someone said...it was good while it lasted...smile that it happened and all that jazz....ive got a few wonderful friends out of this nasty deal. So alls cool and im ready to roll.
Its a new day and a new chicken on the road and a new sun and im a new person too.....bury the past and all that crap.
If u dont get what im talkin abt, never mind...neither do i but i feel strangely good about myself....
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Victorian Etiquette
I was reading an article in Seventeen (btw i suggest everybody buy a copy and read it..its too funny for words...especially the 'how to handle ur boyfriend' articles...) about Victorian Etiquette demystified.....it was supposed to be guide for young men to comport themselves with dignity and charm the skirts off those girls...
For your education, all you young men out there, i have reproduced a few of them here...along with my...ahem...views about them.
rule no one - always always hold doors open for women...they are incapable of doing such physically demanding tasks needing a high level of hand-eye co-ordination which most women lack of course...its quite sad...but of course we have to heed the rules of etiquette...who cares if the girl feels like a pet dog or something, always having things done for her?
Always carry a handkerchief to offer to an emotional lady (i swear this was there in the article)...seeing women are expected to break into tears every two seconds it would probably make more sense to carry a pack of tissues...in fact, buy them in bulk....women cant handle stuff except by crying u see..we need our strong men to carry that huge heavy hanky so we can dry our little teary eyes...
Never let a woman walk through a puddle - always lay your jacket across for her to walk on...God forbid her feet get wet...everybody knows women, like the wicked witch in The Wizard of Oz, will melt if they step into a nasty puddle...wat would people say? Of course seeing the amount of puddles we get on our amazing roads, the guys would probably have to carry two jackets and lay them one after the other so the 'lady' can walk on them...ought to give him some exercise...
Never ever let a woman walk across the room or gasp! the road unescorted...how can they walk across an entire road with all those nasty vehicles zooming by all alone? They are like horses with blinkers you see...cant see either side...wud probably forget where they are headed and wander off somewhere...nope...we need the men..
Always offer a lady your seat...right...they might just faint and fall if they are allowed to stand for too long. And the stupid blokes who got there first are expected to be all noble and give up their hard won seat for a lazy ass girl who cudnt get there on time...fat chance...but of course etiquette says women shudnt be allowed to stand...not when theres a loser of a guy whose willing to give up his seat...
Always pay for the lady as well...this is one thing which really gets me pissed off...its like buying off the girl..i can pay my own bills thank you very much...its really very unfair to the guy...just becoz hes the guy he has to pay for everything.....and we have the privilege of feeling like we owe him something. Of course treats are all fine but expecting him to pick up the tab all the time is just plain...i dnt knw.
Most of these are relly stupid when applied to todays world...but u can still see a lot of people religiously following them...whats the point of being all gung-ho about equal rights and all that jazz if all we take are the good parts and leave out the rsponsibilities?
What do we mean when we say that we expect to be treated on par with men and then expect them to hold open doors and give us their seats? Frankly it makes me feel like a useless lump. This whole issue of womens empowerment is a waste of time if we arent ready to face up and say we dont need preferntial treatment and we can shoulder our own burdens. This is not just for trivial issues but for the big issues as well. Equality loses its meaning if we expect to be treated like china which wud be broken. It really annoys the crap out of me when girls are all pro-feminism and and then get all shocked when the guy doesnt pick up her bill as well.
Im not a feminist...im not ready to burn my bra just yet...but i do believe in not being a hypocrite.
Lets try to create an equal world...for EVERYONE!
For your education, all you young men out there, i have reproduced a few of them here...along with my...ahem...views about them.
rule no one - always always hold doors open for women...they are incapable of doing such physically demanding tasks needing a high level of hand-eye co-ordination which most women lack of course...its quite sad...but of course we have to heed the rules of etiquette...who cares if the girl feels like a pet dog or something, always having things done for her?
Always carry a handkerchief to offer to an emotional lady (i swear this was there in the article)...seeing women are expected to break into tears every two seconds it would probably make more sense to carry a pack of tissues...in fact, buy them in bulk....women cant handle stuff except by crying u see..we need our strong men to carry that huge heavy hanky so we can dry our little teary eyes...
Never let a woman walk through a puddle - always lay your jacket across for her to walk on...God forbid her feet get wet...everybody knows women, like the wicked witch in The Wizard of Oz, will melt if they step into a nasty puddle...wat would people say? Of course seeing the amount of puddles we get on our amazing roads, the guys would probably have to carry two jackets and lay them one after the other so the 'lady' can walk on them...ought to give him some exercise...
Never ever let a woman walk across the room or gasp! the road unescorted...how can they walk across an entire road with all those nasty vehicles zooming by all alone? They are like horses with blinkers you see...cant see either side...wud probably forget where they are headed and wander off somewhere...nope...we need the men..
Always offer a lady your seat...right...they might just faint and fall if they are allowed to stand for too long. And the stupid blokes who got there first are expected to be all noble and give up their hard won seat for a lazy ass girl who cudnt get there on time...fat chance...but of course etiquette says women shudnt be allowed to stand...not when theres a loser of a guy whose willing to give up his seat...
Always pay for the lady as well...this is one thing which really gets me pissed off...its like buying off the girl..i can pay my own bills thank you very much...its really very unfair to the guy...just becoz hes the guy he has to pay for everything.....and we have the privilege of feeling like we owe him something. Of course treats are all fine but expecting him to pick up the tab all the time is just plain...i dnt knw.
Most of these are relly stupid when applied to todays world...but u can still see a lot of people religiously following them...whats the point of being all gung-ho about equal rights and all that jazz if all we take are the good parts and leave out the rsponsibilities?
What do we mean when we say that we expect to be treated on par with men and then expect them to hold open doors and give us their seats? Frankly it makes me feel like a useless lump. This whole issue of womens empowerment is a waste of time if we arent ready to face up and say we dont need preferntial treatment and we can shoulder our own burdens. This is not just for trivial issues but for the big issues as well. Equality loses its meaning if we expect to be treated like china which wud be broken. It really annoys the crap out of me when girls are all pro-feminism and and then get all shocked when the guy doesnt pick up her bill as well.
Im not a feminist...im not ready to burn my bra just yet...but i do believe in not being a hypocrite.
Lets try to create an equal world...for EVERYONE!
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Random Rants
Its raining....while that would usually be a cause for celebration in rain starved chennai, its starting to get on my nerves now....its been POURING non stop for the past couple of weeks. Ya sure it was great fun in the beginning...my semester exams got postponed and i got to jump up and down in the rain and all that jazz.
Its getting creepy now...and very very annoying. i cant step out of the house without getting drenched to my skin..which also means that i cant go out anywhere. Its such a waste of holidays!
Im cooped up in this tiny house with my annoying family and everyones tempers are high coz no one can get out...and get away from each other.
I was just thinkin maybe everyones prayers reached god late....too many pple prayin for rain for soo long. Maybe there was a hold up and all the prayers got jammed in the atmosphere on their way up due to the ions havin a fight and not letting anything get across.
The would have fought about who gets to block more uv rays and the they would have said...fine...im not doing it and the other sid ewud have said the same n they wud have fenced that part of the atmosphere. And all the prayers got jammed there and cudnt reach god.
all of a sudden this jobless angel was passin by and decided to let the prayers go through and make the ions make up with each other and get more 'ive-done-a-good-deed' points.
so all thye prayers went up in a bunch and hence god just decided to give us ten years wirth of rain in one go....
im really jobless now. anyway i gotta go to bed...the mad mother woman is givin me the glares.
sigh.
Its getting creepy now...and very very annoying. i cant step out of the house without getting drenched to my skin..which also means that i cant go out anywhere. Its such a waste of holidays!
Im cooped up in this tiny house with my annoying family and everyones tempers are high coz no one can get out...and get away from each other.
I was just thinkin maybe everyones prayers reached god late....too many pple prayin for rain for soo long. Maybe there was a hold up and all the prayers got jammed in the atmosphere on their way up due to the ions havin a fight and not letting anything get across.
The would have fought about who gets to block more uv rays and the they would have said...fine...im not doing it and the other sid ewud have said the same n they wud have fenced that part of the atmosphere. And all the prayers got jammed there and cudnt reach god.
all of a sudden this jobless angel was passin by and decided to let the prayers go through and make the ions make up with each other and get more 'ive-done-a-good-deed' points.
so all thye prayers went up in a bunch and hence god just decided to give us ten years wirth of rain in one go....
im really jobless now. anyway i gotta go to bed...the mad mother woman is givin me the glares.
sigh.
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